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Beyond Whimsical (Story)

#16 User is offline   Val 

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 - 3:48 PM

"Oh *hic* so he does... have a name then?" Val said, sat in the corner of the room, watching the madness with a sick filled bucket beside him. "Kurisuu! Kuri~~su? *hic* You know what curry sue!?? This *hic* aint not no time to not be introduucin nobody!!?! It's an emergency I think i'm sure! *hic*" He struggled as both Kurisu and Panda stared at him from the ground.

Panda avoided eye contact with either while continueing her effort to pick up all Val's Scarves from the ground, While Kurisu got back onto his feet before brushing off his legs and butt. He watched helplessly as Val tried to stand aswell, pushing himself against the wall.

"I'll tell you!! ~~ another thing *hic* Agga-do!" Val began again, pointing a finger towards Kurisu in an acusing manner. "I~ Love you! *hic* cause! cause? You're someone I can depe---- pe---- *hic* PANDA!!!!!" With that Val burst out in laughter, for no known reason.

Panda highered her gaze, she heard her name being shouted just as she completed gathering the scarves into a pile! Val started staggering towards her, though he continued to look at Kurisu, now with an angry expression and his laughing stopped abruptly! "Panda, She's.. and your... you're!? trying to hurt *hic* hurt! She'll kill you!!!" and with that Val collaps onto the soft pile of scarves.. passing out for the night.
Posted Image
"This Cake Is So Delicious And Moist"

#17 User is offline   Ch1efer 

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Posted Jun 24, 2010 - 4:44 PM

Finally, found it! Ch1efer thought to himself. He walked up to the door. Knocked on it. Some strange fellers came to the door. They seemed shocked to see this man at there door, wearing nothing but SpongeBob underwear and an acoustic guitar.

He then began to sing and play guitar. 'I tend to think of myself, as a one man wolf pack. Though when my sister brought Doug home I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there was two of us in the wolf pack, I was alone first in the pack and then doug joined later. And six months ago when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought "wait a second could it be?" and now I know for sure I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves running around the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!' :)

At this, Ch1efer held out his hands, begging donations. All he received was funny looks, followed by the door slamming on his face.

Ch1efer then wandered back off into the forest, playing his guitar and singing...

'... But the cat came back the very next day. The cat came back, we thought he was a goner but the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away...'

Posted Image

#18 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 25, 2010 - 2:32 AM

Hugbees panicked, "Did you see that?! She killed Val just by touching his scarves!" Hugbees ran around the room as if he was on fire.

After he calmed down his fit of insanity, he then got into a fit of rage.

"YOU...." He looked at Panda with a gaze of pure hatred. "YOU ARE NO PANDA!!! PANDAS DON'T HURT PEOPLE! Unless they are apathetic because they don't care about anyone anyhooooowwww!!!!"

(Fitting music for the scene: http://www.youtube.c...feature=related)

Hugbees started to gather his power, the room was shaking, everyone could feel the immense power surging through Hugbees (except for Val who was passed out drunk) as he was about to go Super Saiyan... Well no, but he did transform into...

A ROEGADYN!

But not just any ordinary Roegadyn, as he could feel his whole body changing. His waist thinner, his butt widened, his breasts (that he now has) enlarged, his shorts became tiny cute hot pants!

Oh yes... He was no longer Hugbees, nor even a he. For he has become... Gisella, the strongest female Roegadyn* to ever live!

(Since Gisella is the only female Roegadyn, this may or may not be saying much)

#19 User is offline   Val 

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Posted Jun 25, 2010 - 5:42 AM

Val awoke the next morning, completely hangover free. He jumped out of his bed with a spring and noticed his wardrobe door had been left slightly ajar. He entered and in the distance, he could see Panda resting in what appeared to be a nest made from scarves. It looked extremely comfy. He approached her, her snoring became more audible with every step towards her.

PANDA!! Val shouted.



She opened her eyes and looked over at Val, ofering a faint smile before closing her eyes again. "Hey Val~" She said softly.

"Have you.. made my wardrobe your new home?" Val asked, sitting cross legged beside the nest.

"Yeah~"

"Panda?" Val said, leaning in slightly... Panda remained still. "I've.. Ran out of Vodka.."




"WHAT!!" Panda screamed, jumping out of the nest, "Quick, go put some clothes on and we'll go and by you some more before you lose your powers!!!" She ordered, not even batting an eyelid to the fact Val had been sat there completely naked this whole time.


"Alright!!" Val jumped up as well, he was about to hug Panda, but was flatly rejected. Moments had passed as Val went to put some clothes on. He retured and Panda just stared...

"I will not be seen with you like that." She said, Val had appeared wearing a tight navi blue tube top, red hot pants and the tackiest stilettos known to man. After a moment of whining, Val put on some real clothes and the two left the wardrobe and Val's room. Walking through the house, they found a brused Hugbees unconsious on the floor.

Val turned to Panda with a questioning look, Panda answered with "He was screaming, then threatening me... then he started groping his own unnaturally large boobs while blushing... I had to hurt him..."

"Fair enough" the two stepped over hugbees and went to the store to by some Vodka.

This post has been edited by Val: Jun 25, 2010 - 6:39 AM

Posted Image
"This Cake Is So Delicious And Moist"

#20 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 25, 2010 - 6:23 AM

Gisella wakes up later, feeling quite sore.

"Ugh, what happened?" she said feeling weary.

"Well..." Kurisu began, "she knocked you out after you transformed because you were groping yourself."

"WHAAAT?!" she said angrily. "I didn't do that!" A long awkward silence filled the room. "Okay, maybe a little!" *poke poke* "So what happened then? Where is Panda, and Val? Did she eat his dead lifeless body?"

"He's not dead, they left to get some Vodka because they were all out or something, to be honest I stopped caring a little while ago" Kurisu said with a yawn.

"You mean she brought him back to life, tricked him into believing she's on our side, went to buy some poison so she can kill him AGAIN?" Gisella shouted in a fit of nonsensical rage.

"Yep, that's it, it's exactly it. Everything you just said was correct!"

"Then I must go and save him! This is no way for a Panda to act!" Gisella huffed, then fell to her knees from weakness. "But this body, I'm still not used to it yet. I must retreat to the private dojo and train my body and mind before I'm ready to save Val!"

And with that, Gisella ran into the bathroom, closed and locked the door.

*poke poke poke poke*

#21 User is offline   Panda 

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Posted Jun 26, 2010 - 2:40 PM

Little did anyone know.... Gisella was not out of his/her mind. Far from it. S/he was right about Panda all along. After all, Panda wasn't even a real panda!

Outside of the store, Panda shook her head as Val loaded her arms with brown paper bags of vodka to carry back to the house. Always with the vodka. That was one of the only ways in which Val was predictable... His one true weakness! She thought the scarves were the source of his power, yet hoarding them in the wardrobe where he couldn't wear them hadn't done a thing to lessen his power. Though she understood now why he liked his scarves so much. They were outrageously comfortable and made a nice place to sleep.

In any case her plan had been to hide in his wardrobe to observe him until she learned the true secret behind his power source. Instead she had fallen asleep, but it wasn't like she had let her guard down! No... she had simply tricked Val into believing she was just a harmless Panda. Another plus, the wardrobe was much more snug than the basement, where water often dripped on you no matter where you tried to sleep.

Pushing a grocery cart filled to the brim with bags, Val opened a bottle of vodka as they started back to the house, wasting no time to replenish his energy. Little did he know that before they had even left the store, Panda had already bought a sufficient amount of poison and slipped it into his personal elixir of life. She watched with a smug smile as he downed it without a clue.

Val was singing drunken songs as he went into the house, dragging the shopping cart full of poisoned vodka with him and wearing significantly less clothing than he had gone out it. Panda trailed behind him, now holding a pile of his clothes since he had started to peel them off one by one.

"VAL!" Gisella burst out of the bathroom wielding a hairdryer when s/he heard Val's voice and pointed the hairdryer at Panda, setting it on hot. "Get away from that imposter of a panda!"

"Hugisella!" cried Val. He then twirled like a ballerina and gracefully jumped across the room to land next to Gisella, slipping an arm around his/her shoulders. "Just what I needed!" He took the hairdryer and another bottle of vodka and stumbled to the bathroom to admire his pretty hair in the mirror.

Any minute now my plan will have succeeded! thought Panda triumphantly.

"I know what you are planning!!!" shouted Gisella, pointing at Panda. "You'll never get away with it!!!"

Kurisu sat reading a newspaper ignoring them.

"What are you talking about!" asked Panda in a whining voice. "I would never try to kill Val. He's too powerful to kill! Maybe you should check to see if he is still alive though."

"Wait! The poison!" realized Gisella. "It may already be too late!!!"

Panda held in her evil laughter as Gisella went to check on Val.

After this maybe she would have some cake.

This post has been edited by Panda: Jun 26, 2010 - 2:40 PM

For the glass of the years is brittle wherein we gaze for a span;
A little soul for a little bears up this corpse which is man.
[Hymn to Proserpine]

#22 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 27, 2010 - 4:43 AM

Gisella was in a panic as she followed Panda to check on Val. When she entered, Panda was staring down at what looked like Val's lifeless body. She was muttered words like "you poor fool" and other evil, sinister phrases like that.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Gisella said as she burst into the room like the Kool-Aid man. She approached Panda with a vengeful glare in her eyes, about to give a speech about friendship, love, and "how could you do this?" when Val woke up from his half nap half unconscious drunk thing.

"Howdy doo ya'll buncha frankfurters!" Val shouted drunkenly.

"Whaaat? But... the poison!" Panda stuttered.

"Went right through him." Gisella said reassured. "You were right, Vodka is his one weakness, but what you didn't realize is that he has the uncanny power to filter out any toxic agents and absorb the power of the fermented alcohol!"

"So you mean...?"

"Yes! With all of that vodka you gave him he is too powerful for you to kill, or for me to kill. He can't even kill himself! I mean, you can tie him up and stick him in a closet or something."

"...but can't he just escape?"

"Well no, he's too drunk. He is far too powerful to be defeated, but he's in a drunken stupor, and he's actually a harmless drunk. So he's kind of useless like that... I imagine he'd be real good at barfights though."

"Enough of this! PWWWAAHH!" Panda shouted as she dashed at Gisella and punched her. Luckily her breasts softened the impact, but Gisella could still feel the pain.

"Wow, so strong... Alright. You leave me no choice!" And with that statement, Gisella began to focus her energy. And for some random reason Panda decides not to attack and interrupt it, and just lets her finish her move. After fully charging her energy, Gisella splits into two! But it wasn't two Gisellas, it was Gisella and...

"I have returned!" Hugbees said proudly.

#23 User is offline   Val 

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Posted Jun 27, 2010 - 7:33 AM

Panda held off the attacks of both Hugbees and Gisella, but wasn't given the chance to attack either of them. With the use of a smoke bomb, she was able to escape into the hallway via the large hole created by Gisella. With the use of her extremely large boobs, Gisella was somehow able to lock on to Pandas location and began to chase her, grabbing Hugbees by the arm to follow her.

They found Panda stood still in the living room, just standing there~~ Smiling eerily. "What's the matter?" she said to the two, "I'm obviously no match for either of you". Gisella began to advance slowly, causiously.. signing Hugbees to stay back. Panda turned around and started walking away from them both and Gisella broke out into a run to catch her. Suddenly, Gisella was gone. Panda turned around and closed the hidden door to the basement, locking it. "It's just you and me now" she said, looking at Hugbees.

"Guys~~~" Val walked in, a single tear rolling down his cheek. "I.. I drank myself sober!!!" he burst out, falling to the floor dramatically. Panda and Hugbees looked at Val in shock!

"That means he's at full power!!!!" Hugbees shouted excitedly! "You don't stand a chance now Panda!"

"Power?" Val asked quietly.

"Mwaha! He'll never side with you over his precious little Panda!!" Panda laughed. "Val, Hugbees has been trying to kill you because your power gets in the way of his devious plans!!"

"Hugaboo?~~ I doubt that" He smailed, "Now both of you come here and stop fighting! I think it's time for a group hug!" and with that, neither Panda or Hugbees could escape. Group hug.

"Too~~~~ Powerful~~~" Panda sighed.


"I think it's time we all go on holiday!" Suggested Val "Let's go find Kurisu and Poposaru... and Chief if he stops walking around aimlessly playing his guitar for long enouth to come home."
Posted Image
"This Cake Is So Delicious And Moist"

#24 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 27, 2010 - 8:08 AM

"Well that was anticlimactic, I was expecting more of a final battle." Gisella sighed.

"At least everything is normal again." Hugbees replied. "And that gives us a chance to-" but before he could finish Gisella kicked him, sending him flying into the wall.

"Pervert! I'll just fight you instead!"

Hugbees knew it was time to end this, he had a feeling he couldn't control his other half for too long. If it were up to Gisella, she would have never performed the splitting technique, but what little control Hugbees had left allowed for him to free himself of her grasp. Gisella is far stronger than Hugbees, but Hugbees isn't completely helpless. Gisella rushed toward him for a finishing blow when he teleported behind her just in time and whacked her on the back of her head with his staff. She fell over, but rolled over on her stomach in an attempt to escape his next attack, but he predicted this and cast paralyze on her, rendering her unable to get up. He cast Waterga on her tight tank white almost see-through tank top, used his photographic memory to never forget that wonderful image as her absorbed her back into his body.

However... to prevent her from escaping, he didn't just seal her away. He destroyed her body and absorbed her soul into his own. This gave Hugbees a surge of energy that evolved him into a Roegadyn himself!

...

"Okay! Let's get some dinner!"

#25 User is offline   Vchan 

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Posted Jun 27, 2010 - 10:22 AM

A sword named Melpomene came flying through the air and the hilt hit Hugbees in the forehead, knocking him out.


"PANDAAAAA!!"

Vchan came jumped through one of the house's windows and rolled in hugging Panda's leg.

"I'LL PROTECT YOU!!"

Then she saw Val and hid behind Panda because the man was completely naked and had a bottle of vodka in his hand. Melpomene flew back to Vchan's hands and she stared at the scene about her. There were scarves everywhere and strange people in the house. They all must be friends.

"Are these people friends?" she asked Panda.

"Sure, why not." Panda shrugged.

So Vchan felt bad for knocking out Hugbees cause he was a friend. ):

#26 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 28, 2010 - 5:41 AM

Hugbees wakes up after his unconscious episode.

"Ugh, why am I always the subject of abuse in this story? Time to change things up a bit."

Hugbees casts a "Protection from Comic Relief" spell, making himself immune to any more silly antics directed toward him.

"There we go, but you know... I think we can do a bit better!"

Hugbees casts Reflectga on himself, now any comic relief gets reflected at a random party member at 2x the silliness!

"We'll see how long this lasts"

...

"Wait"

Hugbees equips an "anti-magic ring", protecting him from Dispell, Silence, and other magic inhibiting effects.

"Wonderful!"

#27 User is offline   Hugbees 

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Posted Jun 29, 2010 - 9:46 PM

Hugbees breaks free of the suspended animation.

"Look, I know I'm breaking like every rule ever invented by double posting but I don't know how much longer I can stand being trapped here! You know when a post is made, and when the character's action ends, they are frozen solid until the next person posts? That's how time works in RP. I've been waiting here for like, 3 days and no one posts a thing! Might as well go grab a burger."

Hugbees gets a burger and teleports back, eats it, and resumes his suspended animation.

#28 User is offline   Panda 

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Posted Jul 5, 2010 - 2:56 PM

Three days! What was Hugbees talking about!

Panda shook her minion/sidekick V off of her leg and was about to say something about how ridiculous it was when she saw all the broken glass on the floor from the window V had broken to jump inside. The sunlight coming in through the window made it so shiny. So irresistibly shiny. She felt compelled to touch it and melted at the shininess surrounding her, completely defenseless.

"I'M SORRY, I didn't know you were a friend please don't unfriend me!!!" V sniffled at Hugbees, trying to put an icepack on his head, but she couldn't get close enough to him because of Reflectga. Each time she tried to use the icepack where her sword hilt had hit him she was knocked back. Weirdly enough she kept trying.

"You're right!" said Val suddenly, counting his bottles of vodka. "I've drunk 3 days worth of vodka while you were in suspended animation... actually no... it's been longer now..." He squinted and looked in his secret storage places inside several hollowed-out books in a bookshelf and found that they were empty. "It's been 5 days since you said it was 3 days! This can only mean one thing!!"

Hugbees quickly reached the most logical conclusion. "You mean... we've stumbled upon a temporal anomaly and that's why Reflectga hasn't worn off yet?!" With perfect timing, V tried to thrust the icepack at him again, only for it to bounce off of him and hit her in the head again. "And only I was about to come out of it and become aware of it because of my anti-magic ring! And Val because of his alcohol-based powers."

"No no no," answered Val, "That the dinner I ordered should have been here by now..."
For the glass of the years is brittle wherein we gaze for a span;
A little soul for a little bears up this corpse which is man.
[Hymn to Proserpine]

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